16 Teams Who Showed They Have No Chance Of Winning The Super Bowl After Week 1 Of The NFL Season

Week 1 of the NFL is officially complete, meaning we’ve learned everything we need to know about each NFL team. With such a huge sample size (one game), fans love to jump to crazy conclusions about their favorite team(s), so let’s humor them and play along by giving ridiculous over-reactions.

We are going to look at each team that lost their game in Week 1, and what it means going forward.

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Baltimore Ravens
Wrist StretchThe Baltimore Ravens sent a strong message to the league in their Week 1 loss to the Denver Broncos. Baltimore proved that no matter how bad their opponent’s offense is, they can match that level of ineptitude and go on to lose the game.
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Chicago Bears
Wrist StretchOf the 16 teams that lost this week, the Bears might have the strongest reason to remain optimistic. After years of getting completely embarrassed by Green Bay, Chicago hung tight in this game. Also, no one in the Bears’ locker room has explicitly said that he hates Jay Cutler yet, so at least it’s an improvement on last season.
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Cleveland Browns
Wrist StretchThe Cleveland Browns lost by 21 to the New York Jets and quarterback Josh McCown exited the game due to a concussion. Johnny Manziel now heads the offense, meaning the Browns’ front office can start looking at who they want to select with the No. 1 pick in the 2016 NFL Draft.
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Detroit Lions
Wrist StretchThe Lions played a lot like, well, the Lions. After going up 21-3 on the road against the San Diego Chargers, quarterback Matthew Stafford once again proved that no lead is too big for him to squander. The Lions went on to lose 33-28, and look forward to infuriating bettors for the rest of the season.
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Houston Texans
Wrist StretchHBO’s Hard Knocks sure got everyone excited for the Houston Texans to build on last year’s 9-7 season. Those hopes were quickly crushed once quarterback Brian Hoyer took the field. Unless J.J. Watt takes over at quarterback, this team isn’t winning more than seven games.
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Indianapolis Colts
Wrist StretchAnyone want to hop off the overcrowded Colts’ bandwagon? After getting stomped by a motivated Buffalo Bills team, many bettors are checking their tickets hoping they accidentally picked a different team to win the Super Bowl. One more performance like that, and you can tear those tickets up.
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Jacksonville Jaguars
Wrist StretchThere was so much optimism that the Jaguars were an improved team before kickoff, and so little to be excited about afterward. Scoring three field goals and zero touchdowns against a Luke Kuechly-less Carolina defense, it’s quite possible the Jaguars never score a touchdown this season.
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Minnesota Vikings
Wrist StretchAdrian Peterson’s much anticipated debut was a huge dud, and talks of the Vikings snagging a playoff spot appear overzealous. The Vikings are just three more top-10 picks and two coaching changes away from really competing for the NFC North crown.
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New Orleans Saints
Wrist StretchThe New Orleans Saints continued their pathetic defensive display in their 31-19 loss to the Arizona Cardinals. While the roster is a far cry from 2010’s Super Bowl squad, fans can at least find joy in watching defensive coordinator Rob Ryan (brother of Rex) lose his mind on the sidelines for the next 15 games.
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New York Giants
Wrist StretchThe New York Giants lost a heartbreaker against the Dallas Cowboys after blowing a 10-point fourth quarter lead. However, the Super Bowl takes place during a Leap Year, so fans already know they are going to win the title – no matter how terrible they look right now.
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Oakland Raiders
Wrist StretchThe Raiders as a team might’ve lost to Jacksonville State this weekend. Rather than try to compete against NFL teams, the Raiders should solely be focused on battling the Cleveland Browns for the No. 1 overall pick in next year’s draft.
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Philadelphia Eagles
Wrist StretchDrowning out complaints barring from Chip Kelly’s off-season roster overhaul, there are the logical Philly faithful who recognize this team should run away with the NFC East (due to the Dez Bryant injury). Philly’s only concern is that Sam Bradford needs to tear his ACL early in the season so Mark Sanchez has plenty of time to get acclimated before the playoffs.
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Pittsburgh Steelers
Wrist StretchThe Pittsburgh Steelers lost to the New England Patriots, but they don’t really care. While he looked surprisingly good, starting Deangelo Williams at running back is a signal to your opponent that you don’t intend on winning the game. The Steelers’ season begins Week 3 when Le’Veon Bell returns, but know they are one ‘accidental’ pot brownie from going 3-13 this season.
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Seattle Seahawks
Wrist StretchThe dynasty is over – just look what happened to the Tennessee Titans when they came up one yard short against the Rams. The Seahawks had a good run, but they should probably turn their attention to building toward the future.
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Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Wrist StretchJameis Winston is the worst quarterback ever. How soon is too soon for the Buccaneers to cut him from their roster?
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Washington Redskins
Wrist StretchThe Washington Redskins almost won their season opener with 10 points against the Miami Dolphins. That won’t be the last time the Redskins only score 10 points, but it’ll definitely be the last they almost win a game. At least Washington only owes the St. Louis Rams first-round picks for the next nine years.
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Photo Credit: Chicago Sun-Times, KC Confidential, Sports World Report, USA Today, Detroit Lions Blog, KC Kingdom, CBS Boston, Savannah Now, Star Tribune, Who Dat Dish, NFL Rants & Raves, The Sacramento Bee, CBS Sports, Patriots Life, SB Nation, Fansided, Miami Herald, CBS Sports