What Would These Cartoons Look Like If We Used A.I.?
In a groundbreaking era of technological innovation, classic cartoon characters have found themselves undergoing a remarkable metamorphosis, thanks to the visionary fusion of artificial intelligence and artistic creativity. Embracing the cutting-edge possibilities of A.I. technology, these beloved animated icons have been reimagined, breathing new life into their timeless adventures and captivating audiences young and old alike. Unleashing the power of machine learning, these AI-imbued characters have transcended the confines of their nostalgic origins, paving the way for a thrilling new frontier of animated storytelling that seamlessly blends tradition with modernity. Step into a world where the boundaries of imagination are redrawn, as A.I. takes the helm in crafting a kaleidoscope of delightful, unforeseen adventures featuring our most cherished cartoon companions.
30. Betty Boop
Betty Boop is a very classic cartoon figure. She first made her debut in 1930 — and reports indicate that her vibe was essentially a reproduction of someone from the flapper age (the decade prior). It was a Polish animator who came up with Boop, though her emergence was first made popular in the United States. To this day, she’s one of the more famous cartoons worldwide.
It’s pretty fascinating to see her reimagined through the lens of both A.I. and as a realistic human. Here’s an example of this image:
29. Hank Hill (From King of the Hill)
Voiced by King of the Hill creator Mike Judge, Hank Hill represents a large swath of Americans who enjoy the simple life. We’re talking being surrounded by friends, family, and beer. The show itself is highly clever — and popular enough to the point that it’s in the process of being revived from when it went off the air nearly 15 years ago.
The A.I. version of Hank might’ve been a bit generous. He looks far more chiseled here — almost resembling Liverpool head coach Jurgen Klopp. Still, we couldn’t recreate Hank without his trusty beer can.
28. Shaggy (From Scooby-Doo)
The late ’60’s brought us the hijinks of a rambunctious dog named Scooby-Doo — along with his ragtag bunch of friends (coincidentally all human). Among the friends, Shaggy (real name Norville Rogers) is the most well-known of the bunch. Aside from his look, Shaggy is often known for his unusual way of speaking.
Looking a bit like a hippie in the cartoon version, A.I. seemingly did a pretty good job in encapsulating the look of Shaggy here. The detail is great, and the color of his shirt is even the same in this recreation.
27. Homer Simpson (From The Simpsons)
Pictured with this cardboard cutout of Homer Simpson is creator Matt Groening. For over 30 years, the patriarch of this family has been a true staple within the realm of pop culture, comedy, and animated shows. The show is still going strong — and offers humorous takes on social and political commentary through the usage of an animated ecosystem. Homer as a cartoon is easily among the more recognizable cartoon dads.
As an A.I. realistic figure, Homer definitely is a bit creepy and unfriendly looking. Perhaps he’d be more approachable with a donut in his hand. Still, you can clearly see the resemblance facially — from the elongated forehead to the unique mouth.
26. Marge Simpson (From The Simpsons)
The matriarch of the family is Marge. Voiced by the iconic Julie Kavner, the woman who gave “Homie” three children usually offers a more relaxed alternative to the kids’ manic, sometimes aloof father. On the ranking of TV cartoon moms, she’s among the best all-time.
Given her unique bright blue hair which resembles a furry popsicle, we were curious as to how she’d look as a human. Smartly, the blue-yellow color scheme pops with this image’s hair and earrings. Truthfully, this menacing version of Marge sorta looks like Meryl Streep’s character from The Devil Wears Prada.
25. Fred Flintstone (From The Flintstones)
The golden age for cartoons really began in the 1960’s. Chief among them, The Flintstones were a massive hit throughout the United States. The patriarch — Fred — was the leader of the wholesome Bedrock family. From his patented catchphrases to ‘running’ a car around town, we’ve seen this character replicated in film (most notably by John Goodman).
In terms of an A.I. replicate, we have to admit…this version of Fred Flintstone looks very Italian. He also looks like he’s straight out of a Pixar movie. Alas — we can still see remnants of the show, namely with his orange jumper.
24. Popeye (From Popeye)
One of the older cartoon characters from this list is none other than Popeye the Sailor Man. We were first introduced to Popeye in 1929 — nearly 100 years ago. The comic strip character eventually was played by Robin Williams in the live action film Popeye (1980). One could make the strong argument that Popeye is an American institution from an animation standpoint.
There’s a number of ways in which A.I. could’ve taken this character. This depiction is one whether the sailor is clearly weathered from his days on the ocean. The furrowed brow is fully complemented with a sea of deep wrinkles, a steely gaze and bulging neck veins. The outfit is quite apropos — and we’re even given an updated version with Popeye clearly sporting some tattoos.
23. Peter Griffin (From Family Guy)
Seth MacFarlane’s immensely popular cartoon series has turned into a phenomenon across the world. Peter Griffin has quite the authentic look as an overweight father from New England who’s constantly dealing with hijinks and hilarity that invariably ensues. His outfit never changes — which includes a pair of glasses, a white button-down shirt, and green trousers.
We were intrigued to see what A.I. would cook up here. This copy does look indeed like a human version of Peter. However, there’s something slightly off here. The green button-down is a bit of a wrinkle. It’s not off-putting — though we’d like to see this reproduction with Griffin’s patented white shirt.
22. Eric Cartman (From South Park)
South Park had technically been a part of our lives since the ’90’s. One of the more controversial characters on the show, Cartman is gruff and inappropriate — yet the most popular character of the main cast. People seem to love the fact he’s off-the-cuff and not overly measured by the things he’ll say.
His character is meant to be heavy set with his usual snap-up red jacket, yellow mittens, brown slacks, and colorful beanie. This A.I. recreation — in our estimation — does a really good job in coming up with what would be a lifelike Cartman (other than perhaps his frowny face).
21. Snow White (From Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)
There are a plethora of classic Disney cartoon films. This iteration of Snow White came in 1937 — where porcelain-skinned Snow White travels in a forest where she encounters a Magic Mirror, seven dwarfs, and an evil witch. The music is quite noteworthy in this movie, and — for the time — it did incredibly well. To this day, it has lasted the test of time as one of the most iconic Disney animated films.
Of course, the beautiful Snow White has been recreated in a number of forms. The story itself has been told over and over through various mediums. In this case, we see a highly beautiful young girl holding none other than the poisonous red apple.
20. Louise Belcher (From Bob’s Burgers)
Bob’s Burgers went from being a plucky underdog FOX cartoon into a true heavyweight show. People love the relatability, humor, unique depictions of characters, and ultimately the character development. Louise Belcher (voiced by Kristen Schaal) is among the more popular characters from the show.
You’ve definitely seen Louise in memes and/or funny GIFs — even if you’ve not ever seen the show. She’s been woven into the pop culture fabric over the last decade or so in a very present way. Down below is a slightly older reimagined A.I. version of Louise as she’s presumably approaching high school (still with her pink rabbit head hoodie).
19. Dexter (From Dexter’s Laboratory)
Cartoon Network was a channel which — unsurprisingly — focused on the production of cartoons. Many of these shows were delicately done with a smartness geared towards the parents who’d invariably be watching alongside their kids. Dexter’s Laboratory was arguably the network’s golden goose. While it only ran for four seasons, it still maintains its status as one of the most beloved cartoons of the last 40 years.
A.I. aged Dexter a bit from a boy presumably in elementary school to a guy on the cusp of attending colleges. As the millennials and Gen Z’ers say, Dexter certainly enjoyed a ‘glow up’ here.
18. Charlie Brown (From The Peanuts)
Charles M. Schulz gave us the Peanuts universe in the form of a brilliant newspaper cartoon strip. Each week, starting in the 1940’s — people would love opening up their newspapers on Sunday mornings in order to read these funny cartoons. The protagonist in most of them would be none other than Charlie Brown.
We’ve seen the Peanuts gang reproduced in actual animated cartoons. The figures look identical to the ones seen in the strips themselves. Here, A.I. does a 180 and gives us a rather unique perspective as to what it views a human form of Charlie Brown to look like. We’re only slightly disappointed that he’s without his legendary yellow shirt with the black squiggle.
17. Shrek (From Shrek Franchise)
Shrek (voiced by Mike Myers) was the lovable yet gruff ogre who lives in a land of magical creatures. Somehow, he’s tasked with rescuing a princess from a gigantic tower (which is protected by a dragon). Eventually, Shrek falls in love with the princess, setting off a number of spin-off films from this hugely successful empire.
While he does embody a human (to an extent), this reimagined version of Shrek is — shall we say — sort of scary. The newer Shrek does have more of a human build with exceptionally long arms and a stocky frame. All the same, the figure is truly Shrek in color and nature from a facial standpoint.
16. Cinderella (From Cinderella)
Another Disney classic, Cinderella is usually one of the first cartoons introduced to young children. It has everything from talking animals to the liberal use of magic. It even has an evil villain looking to steal the show. All the while, there’s a whimsical nature emanating from this film that people seem to truly enjoy significantly.
We’ve seen various reproductions of the original film (which has included a live action one not too long ago). We have to say, among all of these cartoon A.I. reimaginations, this one is easily one of the most authentic compared to the original cartoon version shown directly above. We even love the fact that the A.I. program included the silhouette of the castle in the background.
15. Woody (From Toy Story)
The movie which brought Pixar into the homes of millions upon millions of people. Toy Story was truly transcendent — from its humor and animation techniques to the wholesome nature of its script. The casting department did a fantastic job in bringing in the perfect voices to man the two main protagonists: Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) and Woody (Tom Hanks).
A.I. did another fantastic job here in coming up with the human form of Woody. To be fair, Woody technically was already humanlike as a cowboy doll. Still, the recreation does a terrific job in capturing Woody’s gigantic eyes, pensive expression, thick eye brows, and accompanying outfit.
14. Pinocchio (From Pinocchio)
Yet another Disney classic, Pinocchio is the tale of the boy who was carved out of wood by his ‘father’ Geppetto. Originally an Italian story, this cartoon — created in 1940 — had some rather interesting elements of adventure, menace, and even horror. Still, for as unique a tale as it was, it still holds as one of Disney’s more iconic cartoons.
The A.I. version of Pinocchio does a rather good job in demonstrating what the real-life boy version could look like. Remember, in the story the wooden puppet does in fact resemble a human (for the most part). Here, you can envision this A.I. creation as a boy roaming the streets of an Italian hamlet.
13. Inspector Gadget (From Inspector Gadget)
Inspector Gadget was a cartoon which first came out in the 1980’s. Even though he’s not really billed as such, Gadget was a cyborg — a creation which enabled him to have human characteristics along with a number of robotic elements. One has to wonder if this was initially influenced by the Terminator movie series. Regardless, Gadget was a fan favorite for kids who loved science fiction as well as the hijinks one would see during your average cartoon.
Matthew Broderick actually starred in the live-action version of the film. As such, we had a little bit of a template as to what Inspector Gadget could theoretically look like as a human. This A.I. version is a bit more menacing compared to Broderick’s depiction of the goofy yet lovable titular character.
12. SpongeBob SquarePants (From SpongeBob SquarePants)
We all know about the character who lives in a pineapple under the sea. Nickelodeon struck gold with SpongeBob — a wacky sea character who’s lived on in a number of different ways. To this day, you’ll still see schools chock-full of pencil cases, folders, backpacks, and water bottles all with SpongeBob iconography. It held enough humor for adults to get into it, and without a doubt will remain as one of Nickelodeon’s most successful franchises.
To be fair, taking a sea sponge and giving it human characteristics is a bit tricky. In some cases, it’s nearly impossible. A.I. gave us its best efforts here. We have to say, objectively, that this version of SpongeBob is downright creepy — and even a bit unsettling.
11. Mickey Mouse (From Disney Franchise)
No reimagined cartoon piece would be complete without taking a crack at Mickey Mouse. The purest vision of Walt Disney, this little mouse is the face of one of the biggest corporations in the entire world. Not only can you see him in cartoons, but Mickey Mouse is essentially a staple of pop culture anywhere on the planet.
Surely, there was a bit of a challenge in order to come up with a human-esque form of a rodent. A.I. took some liberties by giving this boy some Mickey Mouse ears. The nose even acts well to give off the original look. While this is a bit of an odd looking boy, the resemblance to Mickey Mouse is pretty clear!
10. Kenny (From South Park)
South Park have provided us with some rather noteworthy characters over the years. Among them, Kenny is easily one of the most recognizable. There’s the quirky narrative where Kenny ‘dies’ — only to return in the next episodes before ‘dying’ again (we see this cycle for multiple seasons of the show). He’s also probably the most misunderstood character on the basis that it’s quite difficult to understand him (considering his mouth is covered by the hoodie/jacket combo.
Interestingly enough, the A.I. recreation has a boy with hair (not shown in the cartoon) as well as a rather frightened expression. You almost feel bad for Kenny at this point — and you have to wonder whether the creators of the show intended for Kenny to secretly be a sad person. It could be the case since it was deemed he came from a poorer background than most.
9. Buzz Lightyear (From Toy Story Franchise)
“Buzz Lightyear…to infinity and beyond!”
If you look back at the Toy Story franchise, there’s a real case to be made that Buzz is the most popular character. His story has been spread across an origin movie on Disney, a ride at Disneyland, and the millions upon millions of dollars made in the realm of merchandise. Tim Allen did a perfect job in capturing the magic of the character when first voicing Buzz back in the mid-’90’s.
We’ve seen a slight recreation recently from Disney. With that said, A.I. did a fantastic job in making Buzz look like an athletic, rugged, intelligent human. Of course, all of these characteristics would be needed when tasked with being a real-life astronaut.
8. The Jetson Family (From The Jetsons)
The Jetsons were on television for only three seasons (in different eras). With that said, it was a primetime cartoon with a very strong following for those who’re immersed in the realm of nostalgia. This ‘modern’ family lived in space with all of the bells and whistles one could expect of a uniquely new ecosystem.
The family who lived in Orbit City got a bit of a makeover here. Aside from the outfits, A.I. aged all four of the main characters (George, Judy, Elroy, Jane). The hair colors for all of the main characters (minus Jane) have changed. All in all, this looks like a very nice, loving family.
7. Bevis and Butt-head (From Bevis and Butthead)
Another Mike Judge project this show was quite popular for over eight seasons. It focused on two guys who were sarcastic, intentionally aloof, and ultimately possessing hearts of gold. The writing was quite clever — as was the character development. It’s a big reason as to why the show is slated to come back after a 10+-year hiatus.
A.I. was not overly kind to the main characters here. Beavis has a strange poofy haircut, pronounced forehead, and a complicated expression. Of the two, this one seems more spot on. Butt-Head, on the other hand, has almost a menacing look with deep facial lines and a grimacing look. However, the narrative that Butt-Head is the leader over Bevis could be properly construed in this image by just looking at the differences in confidence between the two.
6. Jessica Rabbit (From Who Framed Roger Rabbit)
It might be fair to say that Jessica Rabbit is the ‘sexiest’ cartoon ever created. To be fair, this was totally the aim when the animated character came to life in the 1988 film. She acted alongside real-life actors which made for an interesting wrinkle. The famed Kathleen Turner provided the vocal stylings for the character.
Seeing as though Jessica Rabbit was an animated human, the A.I. version had a high probability of coming out quite well. As you can see below, this version of Jessica Rabbit would definitely be construed as a smoke show.
5. Johnny Bravo (From Johnny Bravo)
During the height of Cartoon Network, Johnny Bravo was a very popular show. Voiced by Jeff Bennett, the protagonist is somewhat of a throwback to the ’70’s archetype of the lovesick guy hoping to get with girls at all costs. There might be a little bit of an Italian stereotype here — but the character has remained very beloved for years and years.
The titular character is billed as a good looking guy with a muscular frame, solid cheek bones, and the charisma that enables him to sometime overestimate his chances with women. Also based on a human, A.I. had no problem coming up with this ultra-realistic version of Johnny Bravo from today.
4. Elmer Fudd (From Looney Tunes)
Poor Elmer Fudd. He’s the dedicated yet bumbling hunter who tries and tries as best as he can to get his hands on the bunny we call Bugs. Dressed like a sporting hunter from the past, Fudd is also beset by the fact that he’s got a strange speech pattern in terms of pronunciation. But above all else, Bugs is just too clever for Elmer — and often outsmarts him without much effort.
We were curious as to see what A.I. cooked up here. Unsurprisingly, we see an older gentleman — fully equipped with his tones of brown and olive green (aka hunting colors). The cap is a nice touch here, and really does help when possibly ID’ing this character as an elevated version of Fudd.
3. Bugs Bunny (From Looney Tunes)
Let’s face it…Bugs Bunny is the face of the Looney Tunes universe. Often the initial speaker for an episode or film, you’ll see the iconic rabbit chomping on a carrot before going into his schtick — which could include a monologue, comedic scene, or the sheer antagonization of fellow creatures.
Trying to transform Bugs into a ‘human’ was a tough task — even when Bugs himself had some human characteristics not usually emblematic of a bunny. In this recreation, the bunny aspect remains pretty true — though we aren’t sure about the human hands holding a cup of (presumably) hot coco.
2. Squidward (From SpongeBob SquarePants)
Most people know about the octopus named Squidward. He’s your classic curmudgeon who — despite the volatile and sarcastic behavior — still holds redeeming and heartfelt qualities. The show simply wouldn’t be complete without this foil, as he counteracts the saccharine feel of the other main characters.
It can’t be easy to give human qualities to an octopus — let alone an animated one with a weird face to begin with. Once you get over the unsettling shock, this A.I. image has does bare resemblance to him.
1. Elsa (From Frozen)
One of the biggest Disney hits ever, Elsa plays a princess in her local hamlet. Using her talents, she’s able to help others. In the process, Elsa evolves over time — a true staple of Disney animated films. The character is voiced by the lovely Idina Menzel (thus accounting for why Elsa loves to belt a ballad or two).
As one can see, the recreation of Elsa is utterly stunning. You could look at this image and believe to be a real-life person on a moment’s notice.
We’ve All Encountered a ‘Karen’ at Some Point
In a world filled with colorful characters and unpredictable encounters, few are as notorious as the Karens. This story delves into the realm of crazy anecdotes, where Karens take center stage with their outrageous behavior and unforgettable encounters. From demanding to speak to the manager over the slightest inconvenience to causing chaos in public places, these Karens have left a lasting impression on those who have witnessed their antics.
Prepare to embark on a journey through the wacky and bizarre tales of Karens. These real-life stories offer a glimpse into the lives of individuals who possess an unparalleled ability to turn everyday situations into outrageous spectacles. From heated arguments over expired coupons to attempting to return half-eaten meals, the Karens in this story demonstrate their unwavering commitment to enforcing their perceived entitlement.
Buckle up and get ready for a rollercoaster of laughter and disbelief as we explore the world of Karens and their wild anecdotes. Whether it’s an extraordinary display of entitlement at a crowded grocery store or an absurd encounter with a Karen who insists on speaking to the manager over the volume of elevator music, these tales will leave you questioning the boundaries of reason and sanity. Through these stories, we come face-to-face with the Karens who have mastered the art of creating chaos and ensuring their voices are heard, no matter the circumstances.
20. Karen Goes After Deaf Woman
Hi I (16m) am deaf and require hearing aids for protection and to help me hear a bit. I am 92% deaf on the right and 78% deaf on the left meaning — I can barely hear at all out of my right ear.
I was going home one day after finishing work at a local convenience store. Everything was normal and the traffic was quite fast. I sat down at my bus stop and waited to catch the next stop home. I get on the bus after waiting for about 20 minutes when I see a lady running yelling at me to catch the door for her (at least that’s what I’ve been told). Since I’m deaf, I had no idea she was coming up behind me. She ended up getting the bus driver’s attention and got on the bus.
At this point, this women we’ll call Karen poked me on my shoulder. She got my attention — asking me why I wasn’t holding the door for her. “Oh, you were calling? I’m sorry I didn’t hear you.” (I talk softly) Karen responded: “Well, maybe you should listen next time.” I apologized again and told Karen I was deaf. She started giggling, and I asked her what was so funny. “You, deaf? Nice joke, but if you were deaf how can you hear me right now?” I told her that I can lip read and hear slightly. She thought I was making up things for attention, and then proceeded to sit down two rows behind from where I was.
After about 30 minutes, my stop gets announced. I didn’t hear it, as I was distracted by something else on my phone. I know the driver pretty well, so he was trying to tell me it’s next stop. However, he couldn’t get my attention as everyone else where too loud.
Karen walks back up to me and starts talking to me, but again everyone was too loud for me to know what she was saying. She then proceeds to rip my hearing aid out pretty hard. I started bleeding from my ears and was in excruciating pain I yelled “What the f***, lady?”
Karen starts yelling at me, but I’m too distracted by my bleeding ears. Also, the high-pitched noise killed my ability to hear fully for a bit. Luckily, the bus driver pulls over and kick Karen out quickly. He then gives me some tissue to stop the bleeding.
I went home that day with one less hearing aid than usual, and extreme pain in my ear. The rest of that month, I decided to take the train instead even though it’s a bit more expensive.
I hope this story actually is allowed here and I hope no one here will ever be like this
(thewaffleking2008)
19. A Restaurant Karen
So I’m a server in a restaurant. Today we were slightly busy just like any other day. I’m the manager, so I try to help the other servers with stuff. One of the servers had their tables food come up, so I took the first few plates out for her. It was for a lady with her husband, her kid and her mother. She had the short dyed Karen hairdo and I just got a bad vibe from her. They said we need ketchup. I said “Ok, one second.” So I went back to get their other plates and grab the ketchup, and when I come back this b**** is standing in the servers station — helping herself to ketchup and stuff!
She didn’t even give me a chance to get it for her! I was like “Umm your not allowed back there.” And she very nastily said “Well I just went back there.” And I said “Well don’t do it again..” and by this time she was back at her table and we were talking loudly in front of the other patrons.
She said “That’s fine I’ll just talk to the manager.” And I said “I am the manager!!” Haha it felt soooo good. She shut up and didn’t say another word the whole time they were there. She also stiffed the other waitress which I felt really bad about.
Oh and then later her husband came in and talked to the owner — saying that I was really rude and really embarrassed her. Literally F*** KARENS!
(Dandan419)
18. A Vet Karen? Hide Your Dogs…Hide Your Cats!!
So I work as a vet nurse. There’s about 12 vet nurses and 5 vets at my clinic. One of these vets feels so entitled that she acts like a Karen. She recently showed how much she only gives a s*** about herself and no one else — especially when she’s sick. She’s a bit stuck up most of the time, can be very rude and nasty to us vet nurses, and has more then once had a go at us in front of clients.
She spends hours sitting on her a** doing nothing, and gets paid to do that. She knows better. Head vets work long hard hours. This vet, doing very little, groans and rolls her eyes when asked to do something. Recently, I asked her to see a client before she went home. It would relieve some of the strain on the other vets who actually have worked their a**** off all day while she spent 4 hours sitting on her a**. I wanted her to vaccinate a dog. Next thing I knew, she was walking out the door going home. I told the head vet (who is also her boss what happened).
Secondly, some of us have autoimmune diseases such as MS. I myself am 20 weeks pregnant. Yet, this Karen vet has come to work with Covid and the flu on more then one occasion (as recently as Monday). She even said “I spent the weekend on sofa as I was sick.” Her excuse was she has bills to pay and had to x-ray her dog to see how many pups she has. I am now at home on a Saturday feeling unwell.. Thanks Karen.
17. Parking Snafu = A Riled Up Karen!
Hello Boys and girls! I want to share something that happened to me a few weeks ago. I’ve seen this happen in videos all the time, but this is the first time I experienced it in the flesh. So I went to pick up some furniture from a social media marketplace ad. I was gonna be there for a couple minutes tops, so I didn’t park in anyone’s assigned parking spot. I left my car in the drive lane.
I was inside the person’s house paying when I hear honking. So worrying that I’m blocking someone, I rushed out to apologize (believe me I felt bad) and move my car. I see this lady pull into her garage, far away from where my car was parked and still honking. Weird, but I got in my car and parked in a nearby spot.
…..and that’s when I heard it.
“YOU THINK YOU CAN PARK ANYWHERE?!?! YOU M***********!!??”
“F****** A******… YOU THINK YOU CAN PARK ANYWHERE?!”
I was a little surprised, as this was an overreaction and a little irritating because I despise people yelling. But it didn’t stop there. Y’all…. She came out! She continues shouting the same thing over and over. Me, being the cheeky f*****, yelled back “You have a nice day too, ma’am!” while sporting a big smile and wave.
That made her go ballistic!! I heard her screaming like a banshee and slamming her front door and throwing things in her own house! She sounded like she was going to scream herself hoarse.
I loudly told the person who I was buying the thing from “Your neighbor is friendly!” … More screaming!!
At this point, I legit felt she might come out with a gun. So I paid and left in haste. Any anger I might have had evaporated because nothing I could have said or done would have affected her as much as she hurt herself.
Be sane out there y’all! I swear this is a true event. ✌️ PEACE!
(deleted)
16. Stinky Convenience Store Karen
Had a Karen at work and wanted to vent. So I was working as a cashier and was cashing people out when our star comes up. It’s a perfectly normal transaction when I get a whiff. S***. Literal human fecal matter. I’m not sure if this was her breath or body or what, but as long as she left without staining the floors it’d be fine. We get through, she says no to the receipt, and she’s gone. Lovely.
On to the next customers. This couple was buying a few bottled beverages. I tell them their total and they start to calmly but firmly argue. They’d like the return deposits on their bottles. The bottles they’re currently purchasing. What? I politely explain to them how bottle returns work, but they won’t have it. They insist another manager did it for them. A dubious claim. I offer to call up my own manager to settle the disagreement. Fine. In the meantime, the fecal Karen has slunk back in. While I’m mid-discussion she says “On second thought, I would like my receipt.” “I’m sorry, but I can’t print out the receipt from a previous transaction.” She tries to insist, but I assure her I can’t, certainly not mid-transaction with another customer at the very least.
Regardless, my manager has arrived. We explain the bottle situation to him and he’s just as dumbfounded as I was. But now, Karen’s also trying to make her case, rudely interrupting everyone else. He explains that managers can, in fact, print out previous receipts, but cashiers can’t. In that case, what’s the hold-up? The hold-up is we’re still mid-transaction with another customer. As we’re trying to sort things out, she tries to gain support from the others. “So rude. This place has changed. Never would have treated people like this before.” What, lady? I told you ‘no’ and he asked you to wait your turn. Word of warning: If anyone considers you rude just for saying ‘No’, you get out of there. That person doesn’t have your best interests in mind.
Anyway, back to the bottles. My manager points out that regardless of anything, the bottles they picked up aren’t valid in this state. Not satisfied with this answer, the couple wordlessly turn and walk out the door. Alright then. Transaction voided. Jumping ahead, as we’re sorting out what just happened, my manager explains what the previous manager did. With my manager present, he did accept bottles from the couple as per the bottle deposit program. Empty bottles. So, yeah, somehow they’d got it into their head that they could just ask for money from the store on any bottles, completely missing the fact that the bottles had to be returned in exchange for the money.
Back to the present, watching the couple leave of their own volition, Karen has had it, deeming everything the just happened “unacceptable” and all of us as rude, prattling on about how she herself is a manager at her own store and never would have allowed “something like this” to happen. First of all, yikes. Second of all, I have my doubts you have any job since we have many a homeless person come through (all sweet as can be) and you smell worse than any of them. As my manager voids the bottle transaction and prints out the b****’s receipt for $5.40, she starts badgering him for who she can complain to, trying to get a name, leave her information, get a district manager’s phone number (against company policy), and I can tell that despite being as polite and accommodating as humanly possible, he just wants to tell her to bounce. It’s honestly hard to listen to. …I envy a friend of a friend who owns his own bar. Quiet place, decides his own hours, decides his own policies, decides how to handle customers. Sounds nice. It’s a shame ‘throw ’em out by the collar’ is frowned upon by corporate here.
Once she was satisfied and left with her receipt and miasma, we get plenty of empathetic glances and words from the other customers. Assessing how we did, we could have done better, but I assured him he handled it as well as I could imagine anyone handling it. There was no pleasing that woman. In the end, we decided that if that was the worst thing that happened, it’d be a good day. Which it was. And it was. And I think I’m just fine not being a manager.
15. Two Karens and Public Transportation = a Scene
I’ve finished my shift and now I have another wonderful Karen story to tell.
It was the penultimate trip of my shift, and I was standing at the start of the bus line with the doors open. Two minutes before departure, two American women (you could tell by their accent) about 50 years of age came onto my bus and asked if they could buy tickets from me. I said you have to buy a ticket outside at a ticket machine on the bus platform. Also, I said you should hurry up because I have to leave in 2 minutes. The two ladies then said that there was a tablet in front of me where I could print out tickets for them (my duty roster and my timetable are on this “tablet”, I told them that). We then discussed easily for 90 seconds. They almost yelled at me, then I got up and took them to the ticket machine. I briefly explained how it works and then I went back to the bus. But after they didn’t come back three minutes after the departure time, I closed the doors and drove off.
Before anyone says I should have waited longer, the buses on this line run every 10 minutes.
Wasn’t the most exciting story but still a Karen story 😀
(ldu32011)
14. Crazy Karen Car Story!
Background on car: 2010, under 100,000 miles always garaged. I kept METICULOUS record of routine maintenance. I had it serviced less than 2 months ago. I have my MIL car for sale, posted a sign at the post office and community board at the bank. States on the sign to call to set up to see it, no holds, cash only, first one with $$ gets it.
Karen and Darren call, and we let them come over Sunday afternoon. We show them the maintenance records, they take it out and drive it. They come back, ask if a “buddy” can come take a look at it. I say fine, call him to come over now. Well buddy can’t come over right then, they ask if he can come over sometime Monday.
I said he can call me, if the car is” still available.” I have no problem with him looking at it. I’m not holding this car — first with cash gets it. I stated again as they left “I am not holding this car for you, if someone with cash comes and wants it, I am selling it to them.”
Well, “buddy” never calls.
We show the car Monday afternoon and sold it.
Today, Tuesday around 8 a.m., “Buddy” calls me, I tell him the car is sold.
Within next 30 seconds, Karen calls asking why I sold the car “out from under them.” I told her “Buddy” never called yesterday, and I reminded her no holds, first one with cash gets it.
She goes OFF! Telling me I’m breaking the law, blah blah blah. She’s calling the police, she’s going to sue me. I wished her a good day, hung up.
I go about my day. I come back inside at lunch, and there are so many messages on my machine from her that it’s full. I listened to a few, noticed they were getting nastier and nastier. I skipped to the last couple and she threatened to set our garage on fire.
Police told me they could handle it by arresting her. Or, they could tell her not to call, threaten or contact me and they could write her a citation to appear in court to face charges. If I felt unsafe, they would arrest her.
She has kids, so I stated that if they told her to leave me alone and she agreed, I’d be okay with the citation. Police went to her home, then called me back stating this was the end of it, Karen agreed to leaving me alone and a court date would be set.
At 2 p.m., she leaves a message and apologized, but added she thinks calling the police was wrong.
2:12 p.m. — she leaves a message asking me to just call her so she can apologize in person and asks if I could give her the name of the person I sold the car to, so maybe they would sell it to her.
2:43 p.m. — she calls, I pick up, tell her not to call anymore or I was calling the police. I told her to just let it go.
3:10 p.m. — another message that I’m a b****, she needed that car because she has kids. She then asked how would I like it if something happened to my “description of the 3 vehicles parked at my house.”
When she was here looking at the car, only one of our vehicles was in the driveway. The other two were in the closed garage. I just called the police, they are working on getting a warrant for her arrest.
What the heck?!
UPDATE : She went before a judge at 1 p.m. Karen was charged with ” malicious use of a telephone.” It is a misdemeanor. She was fined $500, has to have a psychological evaluation within 30 days, and cannot contact me in anyway or approach me or my property within 500 feet.
Let’s hope this is done.
13. A Creepy Male Karen
I was on a late night flight from Las Vegas to Charlotte. Clearly, the best thing for me to do during the flight was to sleep through it. Maybe about an hour before we were scheduled to land, I was woken up by a grab on my breast. Then, a hand down my side. I remember jolting myself upright (I had my head down at the time).
I came face-to-face with this man, grinning and absolutely REEKING of alcohol as if he had bathed in it. He started to reach towards me again, so I pushed him away. He turned and walked away after that, but after a few steps this dude collapses. The flight attendants scrambled over to see what had happened, and of course there was a nurse on board who hopped up to see what was going on as well. Feeling guilty, I put my head back down to “sleep” so I could eavesdrop on what was happening an aisle behind me.
Apparently this dude was so drunk when he got on the plane the attendants had refused to serve him alcohol multiple times during the flight. Also, he was on all kinds of crazy heart meds, and shouldn’t have been drinking in the first place.
12. Angry Karen in the Wild
Okay, this story was awhile ago at the dollar store. To prove that this occurrence happened a while ago, it was when stuff was only a dollar there and not $1.25.
My mom and I went to the dollar store near our house, and it was pretty busy. There was only one worker on the register (like there always is). She was older and ultimately slower with checking people out. My mom and I are in line, patiently waiting. Suddenly, this old lady opens the ‘staff only’ doors. There are two middle aged workers who are clearly on their lunch break eating their food. The lady then begins to yell “YOU TWO BETTER GET YOUR A**** OUT HERE AND HELP OUT. YOU SEE IT’S F****** BUSY OUT HERE SO MAYBE INSTEAD OF SITTING THERE DOING NOTHING, YOU SHOULD DO YOUR F****** JOB!
Oh my god….I was shocked as heck. Like, it’s the dollar store — people buy 3 things then leave. The line won’t take that long…chill out! She was the only one complaining, too. Five minutes later, the line was gone and still only the one worker. It was stupid, but I couldn’t stop laughing about it on the way home. I felt bad for the two who just wanted to eat.
11. Have You Met Karen’s Brother, Ken?
So today while working at [Redacted] restaurant, I served a guy his meal (a chicken sandwich). Him and his girlfriend are sitting in one of the high top tables. I go back to packing orders. As I’m done and take the next customer, he comes up to the counter. After finishing up with the customer I was attending to, he opens up his sandwich. He then asks me if I see lettuce on his sandwich. Which I respond, “Yes I do.” He then asks me again like I’m a f****** 5 year old and I don’t answer. I’m holding back everything in my power to not come at him like a mad momma ’bout to beat his a**.
I asked him if he wanted more lettuce. He then intentionally dropped the food in front of me like I’m a dog to show his point of “no” lettuce on the burger. He then says “I don’t like my pickles stacked because I can’t taste it in every bite and I come here all the time.” I’m sorry, but that sounds like a personal problem to me. What can I do about that?
After asking him that question, he then says “That’s what I’m saying to you, thank you.” I ask my coworker in the kitchen and he puts tons of lettuce. Now I’m thinking after he leaves with this burger, it was the last of me having to deal with him.
About 20 mins later, my boss thanks them for coming in after all of that b*******. Even my boss agrees that they come in all the time, but I’ve been working there for about 4 months and work almost every day of the week. I’ve never seen this dude before. Regardless, my coworker goes to clean up dining. He then looks at me and says “I’m not cleaning this” and I’m so confused. I ended walking over to the customer’s table. That d****** b**** dumped all the f****** salad that we put extra on his sandwich onto the table. Really acting like a f****** kid just because I or someone else doesn’t know your f****** order. Please, just tell me and stop acting as if I can read minds.
I ended up cleaning it instead of my coworker. Swear this hillbilly has no manners, Just because I was nice and calm doesn’t mean you can treat me however you want. That’s the point of customer service — you have to put up with the b******* of Karen’s and Ken’s.
Sorry I didn’t take a picture of the mess, I know the Reddit Hackers could find where this was and who. was involved. I condemn any violence against him. He’s just an a******.
10. This Karen Illegally Steals Handicapped Parking Spot at Costco
I (20F) went with my Grandma (67F) to Costco. It being already Saturday, the place was absolutely packed. I told my grandma maybe we should just go home, and I myself would go back later as we had already been out for a few hours. However, she insisted on going.
My grandma has a few disabilities which makes it hard for her to stand up for long periods of time as well as walking or moving too much. It includes classic Arthritis, Scoliosis, and Fiber Myalgia. For those who don’t know, FM is a nervous system disorder and causes pain to my grandmother in different places, exasperating her other conditions. Therefore she has a placard that indicates she can park in the Disability parking spots which are blue instead of white near the front of the store.
Cue scene. Grandma is driving through the isles looking for a spot to park in. Since its Costco and Saturday, most spots are taken up — even the blue ones. As we began to circle around, we see a lady full on arguing with someone who is in one of the blue spots. Whoever is inside simply rolls up their window and pulls out. Someone else pulls into the spot before she can, and immediately does the whole spiel to this person about proving they have a disability or placard. Something to note is that my grandma actually has a sticker on her license plate. Though it’s not a physical placard, it still indicates she is allowed to park in a disability spot.
From what I tried to put together, the lady seemed to be attempting to block the spot for someone else, possible an elderly family member. My grandma turned the corner to see the one empty spot, but as she tried to pull in, Karen jumped in front of the spot and gave us a dirty look. She held the spot until the car she wanted to park there parked. I was just trying to find out where she had the time to start throwing a hissy fit. My grandma had to park at the back of the store and when we went in the lady was standing by 2 associates about how much of a hero she was because she kicked that one guy out of that spot, to which I thought “you were mad at him for holding a spot then held one yourself?”. If it bothers you that much, call the police on the non-emergency line or literally file a complaint at the station. I’m sure everyone will be happy with you standing out in the 102 degree heat over your rookie detective skills.
Listen…I am all for confronting people who abuse programs made for those less fortunate. Hold them accountable, it’s not right. But when your choice becomes so hypocritical you abuse it yourself and claim victim status, it doesn’t work well…does it? I even asked an associate inside about the spots and she said its first come first serve by vehicle — and that you cannot stand in the spot and hold it like it’s a movie theater.
My grandma is tough as nails, but even she needs help sometimes. It disappoints me that people still do this. This was a pretty mild story compared to others I see on here, but this made me particularly mad
9. What is It With Restaurants and Karen?
So, this happened yesterday and I am still upset about it.
So a little bit of backstory: I’m an 18 year old boy and I recently graduated high school. I started a job at Captain D’s in December of 2022. I still live with my parents, my brother, and nana.
So on with the story.
We were not really busy, so we didn’t have any cars in the parking lot. I live in a small town so not many people want to come eat.
After a while, we had our first customer in a few hours. She first came in calm. I took her order, and I remember exactly what it was: It was our regular fish and chicken meal, but she had fries and corn on the cob. She had a drink to go along with it.
She sat down at her table (which are booths that we have at the back of the store) and started to eat. Then not even a few minutes later, she came back to the counter and asked for another piece of fish, because she claimed that “it was nasty.”
I didn’t say anything, but I did give her another piece.
She went back to her seat, took a bite of the chicken, and LITERALLY THROWS IT BACK ON THE PLATE.
She storms back to the counter.
The conversation went as follows:
Me: Ma’am, what seems to be the problem?
Karen: Um, I literally paid $15.92 for this meal, and it tastes like crap.
And how is it going to taste like crap when we literally just made it? That, I would like to know.
Me: OK?
Karen: I WANT A REFUND!
Then what she says next p***** me off!
Karen: No wonder why you don’t have anyone in the parking lot.
So I gave her the refund and she left. I hope this never happens again.
Sorry about the short story but it’s my first story on here. Hope you enjoyed!
8. Racist Karen Gets Out of Line
Okay, so this happened a couple of years ago now. Sometime during the summer, I started experiencing weird symptoms such as double vision, complete limb numbness, and temporary paralysis. One day, I had had enough and decided to take the bus to the hospital since no one could take me. I got on the bus and immediately sat on the seat closest to me (which was the seat for disabled individuals) as I could barely lift my right leg by this point. The first few stops were fine but then, in comes this Karen. She’s around 5’2”, weighs 200 pounds or so, and looks to be in her 60’s. She beelines straight to me. I don’t think anything of it. I assume that she’s gonna sit in one of the seats across from me…but no. Here’s where the interaction starts:
Karen: Excuse me, you are occupying a seat that’s meant for disabled folk
Me: nods (keep in mind I am feeling incredibly ill at this point)
Karen: So get out. You look healthy and young
Me: Shakes my head
Karen: I said GET OUT
Me: I’m sick
Karen: No you’re not you [slur for Mexicans]. You people always find ways to take advantage of us
Me: Sighs and shakes my head (I’m not even Mexican btw and I was ready to just get off)
Karen: Do. You. Understand grabs my elbows and tries to lift me
Me: Ma’am I am on my way for an emergency! I will tell staff that you assaulted me!
Anyways, she huffed and sat down. When it came time for my stop, she tried to hold her leg out for me to trip on. I dragged myself out and walked into the hospital. I ended up being diagnosed with MS later on, and I still get grief for it because some people think I look too “healthy.” I’ve even had a lady confront my mom and I when she saw that we parked in a disabled spot (but that’s a different story).
7. A Discriminatory Karen Meets Her Match
This story has happened to me several times, but this one was worse then most. I am a large man with a wife who is 100% disabled. Every time we go to a store, I park in a handicap parking. My wife has a handicap tag on our car. I walk into store and find my wife one of those electric carts. I climb on the cart and begin to take it to my wife. This skinny stick Karen stands in front of me. “What are you doing? That cart is for handicap people not a larda** like you!” I try to explain I am taking the cart to my wife, but she is having none of it. “Who would marry a fata** like you?” She grabs the cart and starts yelling, “Security, Security!” At this point, a crowd starts to form and she is stirring them up.
The manager walks over. Karen with a smug look on her face starts shouting that this, “Fata** is trying to steal a cart, he can walk he does not need it!!” The manager looks at me sitting there getting very embarrased.
“Sir, do you need that cart?” I looked at him and said, “I am getting the cart for my disabled wife in the parking lot.” Karen stands there and starts shrieking, “He is an f****** liar — no one would marry a fata** like him.” I am getting frustrated and just want to leave the store, when the hero of the story walks into our local high end grocery store. “Dad, are you okay? Mom says it’s getting hot in the car.”
My 29-year-old son see’s what’s going on with the crowd around me. My son is 6’5″ weighs 250 pounds. Because he works in a warehouse, has a strongman’s build. He walks over and grabs an electric cart — pushing Karen and the crowd away. He drives out with no one stopping him or saying a word. In 10 minutes he walks in with his 100% disabled mother in the cart. My wife rides over looking daggers at this woman and says, “Excuse me — will you let my husband go, you stupid b****.”
The crowd starts to laugh and starts pointing at the Karen. Karen starts to blush and is getting ready to start with my wife when my son stands next to his mother on one side and I stand up to her on the other. I look into her eyes, “Is there anything else Ma’am?” The manager looks at my family and apologizes for the disruption of our day, and gets my wife and son a free iced coffee from the stall in the store. Karen left her shopping and fled the store.
(deleted)
6. Karen, You Leave My Animal Alone
So this is something that I’ve been dealing with for the last few months, and it just came to blows today.
For the last 3 months my geriatric cat (who was somewhat a local celebrity, as he had a very unique personality) has been ill. I have been working closely with his veterinarian. He has been on antibiotics, as well as something for pain and inflammation. When he initially started his medications, he got better and was doing really well for about a month. Then unfortunately, he started going back down hill again.
When he started going downhill again, another call was made to the vet and the decision was made to just keep him comfortable and enjoy what little time we had left. We were also told that as long as he was comfortable and not displaying signs that he was in pain, we could try to just let him pass as a natural death. So that is what decided to do. All of our neighbors and close friends and family were aware of all of this. Including the Karen of the story — whom I have spoken to nearly daily throughout this whole ordeal, and I thought she was sympathetic…until today!
Over the last 3 months, Karen has told me every day how when my cat sneaks out and does his usual rounds visiting the neighbors as he has done daily for his entire life, she feeds him. My fiancée has told her numerous times he is sick and is under the care of a vet. We asked her to please stop feeding him because then he comes home and doesn’t want to eat. That way we know if he is actually eating or not.
She refused to stop feeding him, and was like “Well I’ll just tell you every day if he has eaten or not.” No — that’s not good enough because we still won’t know how much he’s consumed. We again told her to please just don’t feed him. We provide every thing that he needs, and he has round the clock access to it. She still refused to stop, so we started not letting him go outside at all to stop her from doing this.
Today he snuck out of the house and we didn’t notice. So as I’m sitting there about to eat my lunch, I hear someone nonstop pounding on my door. Like hard — it’s the ‘cops’ kind of pounding. So I go to answer my door and there stands Karen holding what is clearly my elderly fur baby wrapped in shopping bags. I open my door and before I can say anything, she throws my deceased cat at me and begins screaming about how cruel I am. She then tells me I should have taken him to a vet. She knows he was under going treatment and she knows we have asked her to stop hindering his treatment. My special little boy was my best friend and helped me through some of the hardest times of life.
He passed away knowing he was loved and cared for. And he died outside, exactly where he most loved spending his time. We kept him comfortable ’till the end, but at his age that’s all we could do. As she walked away, I carried my boy back into my house and melted into the wall hugging him one last time, but now I can’t get Karen’s words out of my head.
The last thing I needed immediately after finding out that my sweet sweet furry son had passed was accusations and ignorance to be slung my way. I love my pets as though they were my children.
5. This Karen Might Be The Worst Person Ever
So this story is something that happened to a good friend of mine. For the sake of anonymity, we shall call her Daisy, She asked me to share this story about her mother. The Karen of this story, and quite possibly the queen of all Karen’s!
This all started about 2 years ago.
Daisy (29-year-old female at the time) hadn’t been feeling well. She went to her doctor where they found a lump on her right breast. They set her up with a mammogram, Lab work, MRI, Ultrasound, and eventually a biopsy.
Once all the tests were back, she got the worst news she could have ever received. Biopsy came back…. It’s the C word. “Don’t worry, we caught it early. A surgery to remove the cancer will be followed by some chemo/radiation therapy. We have every reason to hope you’ll come out the other side just fine.”
That’s the good news, though unfortunately Daisy’s insurance will only cover part of the surgery. After co-pays for her tests, she has spent a good portion of her savings just trying to find out what’s wrong.
They tell her how much she will be responsible for out of pocket. While neither of us remember the exact total amount, she needed to pay half before they would even set up the surgery date. It was more than she had left in savings.
Karen isn’t what I would call rich, but she is well off. Penny pincher, coupon clipper, and aside from her monthly bills, lived a very plain no frills lifestyle. So Daisy decides to ask her mother for help getting this surgery….. To save her life!
When she sits down with Karen, she explains the whole thing, and shows her the lab reports and documentation showing what they had found. Her mom asked for copies of everything, as Karen has been known to say people she knows fake illness.
Karen listens to every word and reads every paper. Including the one that says X amount of money required up front.
Once she has looked every thing over, Daisy tells her if she can’t come up with this money, she won’t be able to get my surgery or my treatments after. (Just to clarify, Daisy wasn’t asking for a hand out — she was willing to make monthly payments to repay Karen).
Karen then hands all the paperwork back to her and says, “I can’t help you I just planned a vacation, I can’t afford to do both.” Daisy replies with “But if I don’t get this surgery soon it could get worse. I could die!”
Karen then mentions Daisy having life insurance. She’s implying that it’s ok, because if she dies there will be money to pay for her funeral!!!
Well, immediately after hearing that she calls me bawling her eyes out, and the most scared she has ever been in her life!!!! She doesn’t have any one else that she is comfortable asking for this type of help. She just started dating someone new, but it was so new she was afraid he would think she was some kind of gold digger. He knew about her health issues, but didn’t know about the financial issues.
I reassured her that one way or another I would make sure she could get her surgery. So I offered up as much of a loan as I could afford, and even though she didn’t want to tell him, I did.
Between what we could combine on, her boyfriend and I came up with the full amount of the surgery. She got her surgery, she got her treatments after, and is doing well today. No thanks to the Kareniest Karen who’s ever Karened.
Daisy has since completely cut off Karen. No one needs that kind of toxicity in their life!
4. This Karen is Out of Control
Ok, so this just happened to me a few hours ago and it stands as the biggest what the f*** moment in my job.
Little bit of background, I work as a contracted Cell phone technician for a large superstore chain in my country. My job duties entail selling/activating phones and assisting guests with technical issues with their phones.
Due to me being a private contractor, I don’t answer to any management staff or employee for the superstore, and I am essentially my own boss. On top of this, I do have a right to decline service to anyone — however I never do because I don’t want to turn people away just because they are having a bad day. But, after what happened today, I’m going to enact my right to do so for any future encounters.
So today I was minding my own business when I was approached by the mythical Omega Karen (O.K). O.K was a 65-year-old woman who had what looked to be about four layers of makeup on her face and a beehive haircut so big, she looked like she had a basketball underneath (her hair looked like an Omega symbol too, hence why I call her Omega Karen). She explained to me that her phone was not working. Being the ever so helpful person that I am, I got to work in diagnosing the problem.
After doing a quick inspection and tinkering around with the phone, I came to the conclusion that the phone was bricked. I informed O.K of this revelation. The exchange went a little like this:
O.K: So what do we do now?
Me: Well ma’am, unfortunately the best course of action would be to replace the phone. Luckily, I have the same phone on sale for $49.99.
O.K: I’m not buying the phone. I bought the phone from here so I want it exchanged.
Me: Ok ma’am, do you have the receipt for the old phone?
This is when she when from a nice old lady to Omega Level Karen.
O.K: LISTEN HERE YOU STUPID PIECE OF S***, I BOUGHT THIS PHONE ALMOST A YEAR AGO! I DON’T HAVE THE RECEIPT! I BOUGHT IT HERE AND IT’S NOW DEFECTIVE! YOUR COMPANY HAS TO HONOR THE GUEST AND REPLACE THIS BROKEN PIECE OF S*** FREE. OF. CHARGE!
I soon realized that this was going to be s*** show. So I decided to try and Tai Chi the situation in an attempt to mitigate damage.
Me: Ok ma’am, I understand that you are frustrated, but unfortunately due to the store’s policy we can’t do any exchanges after 30 days of purchase.
After the words left my mouth I realized that I fucked up and she was ready to retaliate.
O.K: BULLS***! YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO SWINDLE ME OUT OF $50! I’M NOT HAVING THAT! IT’S NOT MY FAULT THAT IT’S A CHEAP PIECE OF S***! IF ANYTHING IT’S YOUR FAULT IT’S BROKEN!
She ACTUALLY was blaming me, a guy she’s never seen before, for breaking her phone.
Me: Ma’am, I’m sorry but there is honestly nothing the store can do for you. However, because you bought the phone less then a year ago, the warranty should still be replaceable through the carrier warranty. I would be happy to call —
She interrupted me by picking up my stapler and threatened me with it.
O.K: YOU WILL GET ME A F***** PHONE RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL THROW THIS AT YOUR F****** HEAD!
Me: Ma’am, threatening me is not going to solve your problem. Now, as I was saying I can call up the carrier and see if they can replace it under their warranty.
O.K threw the stapler to the ground (breaking it), angrily grabbed her broken phone, told me to go f*** myself, and stormed off.
After she left, I picked up the stapler and threw it out. I then continued with the next guest.
Now, i wish it all ended here. But unfortunately, God hates me and wanted to prove it. About five minutes after she stormed off, She returned. But she wasn’t alone. O.K did what every Karen dreams of doing, and got the store manager. And it wasn’t just him, but the security guy as well.
SM: Hey, Darius. This woman has informed me that you wont assist her with her phone. Mind telling me why?
I explained the situation to the store manager who was looking like he was about to hit me. He then interrupted me by saying:
SM: Okay, and at what point did you throw a stapler at her?
I was confused until it finally dawned on me. The person who threatened me was trying to frame me of assault, over a $50 flip phone.
Me: I never never did that. In fact, she was the one who threatened me with a sta —
O.K interrupted me
O.K: B*******! YOU THREW A STAPLER AT ME TELLING ME THAT YOU WERE GOING TO CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF ME! I WANT THIS MAN ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT!
The security guy approached me.
SG: Darius, is there any way you can back up your story?
Me: You can check the cameras. They most likely caught the whole interaction.
As soon as I said the word camera, O.K went ballistic.
O.K: HOW DARE YOU BELIEVE THIS R******* PUNK OVER ME! YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!
SG: Ma’am, we need to make sure to get the full details of the event so we can better explain it to the authorities.
O.K: I DONT WANT TO WAIT FOR THE POLICE! JUST FIRE HIM AND GET ME SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP ME!
SG: Umm… Ma’am, you just said that you wanted him arrested.
O.K: STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH YOUNG MAN! JUST FIRE THIS PIECE OF S***!
This is when the Store manager finally pipes up and tells her the bad news.
SM: Unfortunately ma’am, he’s a private contractor that handles our phones. We can’t fire him because he doesn’t work for our company. Now, if he did what you said he did, it would be best to get video proof that way we can escort him off the property.
O.K relented and agreed to look at the footage. All four of us went to the security room to roll back the tape. As soon as we got to the part were she grabbed the stapler and held it up, O.K started screaming.
O.K: THIS IS B*******! ALL YOU F****** ARE IN ON IT! IM GOING TO SUE YOU ALL FOR TAMPERING WITH EVIDENCE! I WILL SEE YOU ALL IN COURT!
As she began to walk to the door, she noticed me smiling. I soon regretted doing this. O.K smacked me across the face and spat at me. Luckily, SG heard the slap and quickly subdued her. After a quick call to the cops, she was handcuffed and put in the back of a squad car. The police asked if I want to press charges. All it took was one good look at her for me to say yes.
Once I got done with the paperwork, the Store manager apologized to me for what had happened. He informed me that O.K was black listed and is to be arrested on site if she is to come back to the store.
I’m currently writing this laughing at the whole situation.
3. Karen and the Pizza Wars!!
So, this happened some ways back… around when COVID was brand new and everyone and their mother was stocking up on literally anything and everything in a panic.
I work in a county jail, night shift at that. I don’t need to tell you that dealing with inmates for an entire night can be the stuff of nightmares (especially when the lot of them are spoiled s***** like the ones I deal with). 3 Texas-sized meals a day and TV in every cell/tank is given to these inmates. When I get off work, I’m in no mood for anyone’s b*******.
The shift had been particularly stressful on account of a few DWIs who were so very unhappy to have been brought to jail.
It was also the end of the month when I’m paid. As such, it’s custom for me to slip down to the Brookshire Brothers in town to stock up — mainly on the DiGiorno pizzas as they go on sale on Saturdays. If neither me nor the wife want to cook or go out, that’s our go-to.
I’m wearing a black baggy coat to cover my uniform shirt because some people can’t see the difference between a correctional officer and a cop/deputy. I would rather not be put in a situation given all the stories of terrible cops you see and a plain black cloth face mask.
Now, I’m a thoughtful individual. Many places were limiting how much you could grab, so I asked if there was a limit on pizzas beforehand. She said there was not, and I proceeded down the aisle (crammed full of frozen pizzas mind you) and start loading up. I step away to grab some things on another aisle and come back to a wild Karen in its most natural state rifling through my basket and grabbing things here and there.
For a moment, I’m blinded by the sheer majesty (audacity) of this sight. Had I a camera as well as a British accent, I may have narrated the whole scene. Giant glasses, in some unholy mix of pajama pants and a shirt (neither of which were flattering on her figure, I should say) and a face that to this day makes me think of a goblin shark if it somehow bit into something sour.
I am, however, a very tired and cranky Texan and the conversation proceeds as thus:
Me: Can I da** well help you ma’am?
Her: We’re in a pandemic and it isn’t right for you to be stocking up on so much at the expense of others! Don’t be a selfish piece of s***!
The shelves around us are crammed full of pizzas and I already ensured there wouldn’t be a problem, but okay. The woman is literally snatching things from MY cart and putting them in hers.
Me: Stop going through my da** cart and put back what you already took out ma’am, I’m allowed to buy as many pizzas as I like.
That’s when my grocery safari took a dangerous route. This very entitled and snotty woman in her nasally voice proceeds to march up to me and jab her boney finger into my chest repeatedly.
Her: Don’t you talk to me like that! I can get you banned from this f****** store in an instant!
My patience is already shot to heck, so I casually move passed her (I’m 6’0″ and she wasn’t anywhere close) and proceed to take my things back.
Woman loses her ever-loving mind and starts screeching, slapping my back, clawing at me, at some point her husband comes running over proceeds to start yelling at me and trying to push/shove me. We’ve gained an audience, and EVENTUALLY after body blocking the both of them from my cart (and keeping my arms raised defensively) the manager and a few workers show up.
Karen proceeds to give the usual story of this and that painting me as some thug who started taking from her basket and threatened to physically harm her.
I correct her by giving my side of it. This Karen was corrected by the manager who said there was no limit on the items I was buying.
They BOTH want assault charges pressed on me regardless and the police called, to which I finally snap and cuss the both of them out.
And then, it happened.
This brave, foolish little screeching witch snatches my mask off my face and spits on it before tossing it to the ground.
By this point, an actual deputy who was at the store came walking up. Again, the same story — but the deputy (one I know) is looking at me for my side of it.
What did I do?
I removed the jacket, showing off my XXX County Sheriff’s Office shirt (the deputies and jailers have the same uniform) and cross my arms.
The couple had quite the “Oh s***” moment — and you could see the regret and panic forming rapidly in their faces.
I give my side of it and clarify I want the cameras checked and pointed upward to where this whole mess was in clear view of one and made clear that I would be pressing charges for assault of a public servant and whatever else I could stick to them.
Woman begins blubbering, shoving everything she can back into my basket and screaming about how sorry she was and how it was all a big misunderstanding. The husband is stammering apologies left and right, trying to take my hand to try and plead with me I guess? Dunno, jerked my arm back and waited as the footage was reviewed; both were cuffed.
Manager gave me a discount; I went on my merry way.
The best part?
I saw them in holding when I came in for my shift that night. : )
Didn’t get the public servant charge because I was off duty, but they still had quite the fine for everything else they got.
I also still see them around town often, but they have yet to make eye-contact with me — and always vanish the minute we’re anywhere in the same general area in this tiny little town.
It amuses me every time.
2. KAREN WANTS HER RIBS!
A Karen came into the restaurant I work at. At first she seemed normal, so I didn’t expect any drama. She ordered tea and her husband had a very specific drink order which included no cream, no foam, not too much milk, etc. At this point, I started thinking that the husband was going to be an issue — but boy was I wrong.
They always ordered the same thing at every restaurant apparently (ribs and fries), so I was surprised at how long it took them to decide what to get. Maybe the four flavor options were too much.
Fast-forward and they order BBQ ribs (big surprise). Now, I wouldn’t usually be annoyed at customers taking longer to decide as I’m quite a patient person at work, but we were nearing closing time and they had come in quite late to begin with. I put the order in and when it arrives, before I can even place the food down on the table, she looks at it with disgust and says “I don’t want this.” I was shocked and didn’t know what to say for a moment.
I was taught never to ask if something is wrong with the food because that opens the door for complaints so instead I asked her if she could explain why. She then said that she didn’t want her ribs pre-cut and that she wanted a rack of ribs.
Our country is currently going through a rib shortage. As such, we cut the ribs apart to weigh out the most accurate amount to what we list on the menu to save so we can prolong our rib supply. I once again didn’t know what to say so I told her I would get her the manager so she could explain the situation to him and he could take it from there.
Our manager then agrees to take out a rack of ribs that hadn’t been cut and proceeds to make her new ribs free of charge. The woman then asks for a take away for the cut ribs and proceeds to start eating from them before demanding that the ribs be taken off her bill as compensation for having been wronged by us.
Long story short she got 2.2 pounds of ribs for free and winked at me before walking out.
I hope to never see her again.
1. Karen is Gonna be Karen
I made a post here a while back about my adventures as a mover. When you work at a moving company, you will always find yourself in a nest of full of Karens. My latest story starts with delivering a chair. This can’t get more simple yet complicated at the same time. So our job was to deliver a chair for an interior decorator. We get to the house and one of the ugliest Karens answers the door. She starts with saying we delivered it too early — even though she was home with nothing to do! She then warns us that she has a 15-year-old blind dog. The dog was very small and I did not pay attention to the species.
So she gets us to move stuff out of the way for her chair and put into the garage. We also did not get paid to do this. We left the garage door open to walk back and forth. The dog kept getting out and she chased it each time to bring it back in. The dog also walked under our feet while carrying heavy stuff. Karen never tried to put the dog up for our safety nor the dog’s safety. She thought it would be easier to keep chasing it over and over again while complaining I guess! Well, as we were bringing cushions in the dog walked under my feet again. My shin barely grazed the dogs head which resulted in her screaming at me saying I kicked her dog.
I got a whole speech on how I should be more careful and that I just kicked her dog in the head. We ignored her and continued working. The chair we picked up was some cheap material that left a mark everywhere you touched it. Let me just say the chair was marked up from just breathing on it. Biggest piece of junk chair I ever seen in my life and I have delivered some s***** stuff! Instead of investing good money for a decent chair, Karen proceeds to take pictures of it. She sent a text to the decorator blaming us. Then when she goes to find her dog again, she walks through the dining room. In the corner of her dining room she finds a scratch on the floor and blames us.
We tell her we never set foot over there as it would be impossible with all the s*** that was in the way. Why would we do parkour through chairs and a table when we have a huge clear path at the entrance? Long story short the decorator tells us that Karen called and complained saying that we kicked her dog, scratched her floor, and destroyed her chair. We ended up picking the chair back up another day, and told her she can find someone else to deal with her b*******. I feel bad for whoever moved her into that house. If I couldn’t win bringing a chair then I shudder to think of the poor souls who moved that demon’s house.